Week 1: Relationship | MK9Plus
Week 1 · Relationship

Science says your relationship style is quietly deciding your dog's biggest problems

Guarding, clinginess, ignored commands. Watch the lesson, then scroll. By the bottom of this page you will know which of the four styles your dog has.

By the end of this page, you'll know which style your dog has

That is step one, and it is free. Step two is changing it. If you want help with that part, it is exactly what I do with members inside MK9Plus, with 1-to-1 email support directly with me, weekly lives, Zoom calls and the full lesson library.

Diagnosis today. The fix whenever you're ready.

No pressure this week. You are welcome to just take the free lessons and run. But if you would rather not wait ten weeks to fix what you find on this page, the door is open today.

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Everything you just watched is broken down visually below

The lesson, laid out

The Strange Situation: the study they could not disprove

Mary Ainsworth's famous experiment measured the attachment between parents and their children. Then some genius tried it with dogs and their humans.

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Parents & children

The original Strange Situation revealed distinct attachment styles between children and their parents, and how each style shaped the child's behaviour.

🐕

Then dogs & humans

Same experiment, dogs and their owners. The exact same conclusion. The same styles, forming the same way, with the same effects.

🔁

Tested five times

Nobody believed it. So universities around the world changed the variables and ran it again. And again. Five times. Same conclusion every single time.

"It is exactly the same. The relationship between dog and human works like parent and child." Max Randall · MK9Plus

First: what relationship actually is

Straight off the whiteboard. It is an equation, and it only has two parts.

TRUST + LIKE / LOVE = RELATIONSHIP

Your family, your partner. You trust them and you love them. That is a healthy relationship. Same for your dog.

And when the equation is missing?

No trust + no like That being wants distance Distance not given Aggression
"Aggression is a distancing tool. Guarding and aggression in the house can simply be a lack of trust and like." Max Randall · MK9Plus
Which one is your dog?

The four relationship styles

One green. Three red. Read the causes carefully, because this is where most people recognise their own dog.

✓ The good one

1. Secure

  • Feels safe, confident
  • More likely to be happy left alone
  • In the studies: explored and played with strangers more when their human was near

Built by: consistent care and support. This is the one we want, and this page ends with how to build it.

✗ Insecure

2. Avoidant

  • "I'll do it myself"
  • A quieter, shut down kind of worry
  • Still feels the fear, just gave up asking

Caused by: being ignored when they need support. "Just turn your back and ignore him." The dog learns: this person does not help me.

✗ Insecure

3. Ambivalent

  • "Don't leave me"
  • Follows you everywhere around the house
  • Cannot be left home alone

Caused by: inconsistency. Sometimes cared for, sometimes not. You become unpredictable, so they never feel secure, with you or without you.

✗ Insecure

4. Disorganised

  • Wants you, but scared of you
  • Confusion, fear, sudden outbursts
  • The one all over TikTok

Caused by: sometimes caring, sometimes frightening. Most common in households mixing punishment and reward, so called balanced training.

How the style becomes the behaviour

Three big topics: guarding, separation, and trainability. Watch how each one traces straight back to the relationship.

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Resource guarding

Guarding is a fear of loss, and it thrives where there is no trust. If your dog has no idea whether you are good cop or bad cop today, how comfortable are they when you approach their food, their toys, their bed? Studies show households using balanced training methods have the highest rates of owner-directed aggression.

🚪

Separation issues

"Leave them to cry it out" teaches your dog: when you hate being alone, I am never coming to help. Some dogs give up, still anxious, then go berserk when you come home. Some try even harder to stop you leaving. But when you consistently come back to a crying dog, they learn there is nothing to worry about, and the behaviour goes on its own.

🎓

Trainability

The clingy dogs tend to listen a lot, but that is anxiety, not teamwork. The disorganised dogs are much less obedient, because they do not know what is waiting on the end of that recall. Sometimes you are lovely. Sometimes you are furious. Why would they run back to find out?

"You are not ignoring a dog that is crying. You are ignoring a dog that is scared. Ignore fear and it grows. Comfort it and it goes, along with the behaviour." Max Randall · MK9Plus

Your dog doesn't know you. They know how you respond

Your dog did not grow up with you. They know nothing about your life. All they have is how you react to them. So here is the lesson inside the lesson.

🟢 The behaviour

Your dog jumps up once while you are holding a plate. "Mate, get off." Done. Fine. A one-off behaviour is just a moment. Respond kindly, show them what to do instead, reward it. That is training, and it is the easy bit.

🔴 The behaviour every day

Jumping, stealing, demanding, pulling, every single day? That is not a training matter anymore. That is a frustrated or over-aroused dog, and their lifestyle is creating it. No amount of "sit instead" fixes a dog that is constantly frustrated.

"Being consistently nice and teaching your dog what you want doesn't work when your dog is constantly frustrated. Don't rely on training. But when you do train, be this one." Max Randall · MK9Plus
The good news

How to build the secure style

Both sides of the equation, and you can start today.

🤝

Trust: how you respond

Be consistently nice. Support them when they are worried. Learn to read them, because body language is the gateway drug to fixing your dog. Know when to give distance, when to comfort, and when training, always show them what you want and reward it.

❤️

Like & love: play + enrichment

Play how your dog wants to play. And remember enrichment is not just tiring the dog out. Enrichment is opportunities. Be the one who gives the fantastic opportunities, not the one always recalling them away from opportunities.

🎁 Your free bonus lesson

This is the play fighting video I mentioned. It's an old lesson, but it's a gold lesson. Learn how your dog plays, play that way, and watch the like and love side of the equation grow. Plus some daft clips of me and Enzo.

In your dog's eyes, are you the barrier... or the opportunity for their world to expand?

This is how the lesson ends, and it is worth sitting with for a second.

🚧 The barrier

🐕 🐿️ 🎾 👃 🦴 NO. NO.

The one who stops that, and that, and that. All day. In your dog's eyes, you are not a person anymore. You are frustration with legs.

🌍 The opportunity

🐕 🐿️ 🎾 👃 🦴 🌳 GO ON!

The one who gives the jobs, the enrichment, the chances to let rip and be a dog. Their world gets bigger because you are in it.

"Far too many people, in their dog's eyes, are a barrier. The one who stops that, and that, and that. Through enrichment, jobs and opportunities to let rip and be a dog, you become the opposite." Max Randall · MK9Plus
So, which style did you spot?

You've done the diagnosis. Here is the fix, whichever style you found

Whatever you recognised on this page, there is already a path for it inside MK9Plus. This is not a course you follow blindly. It is built around what your dog actually needs.

🫥

Spotted the avoidant dog?

The Body Language series teaches you to catch the quiet signals you have been missing, so your dog learns you do help, and comes back to life.

🥺

Spotted the clingy dog?

The Separation series shows you how to build real comfort with being alone, without a single second of crying it out.

🌪️

Spotted the confused dog?

Learn training without punishment or tools, so your dog always knows which cop is turning up. Watch the guarding and the outbursts fade with the fear.

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Got the secure dog?

Brilliant. The Enrichment and Play series will take that bond even further, and keep it that way for the rest of their life.

📩

1-to-1 email support

Message me directly about your dog. Diagnosis, plan, and no more uncertainty.

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Weekly lives + Zoom calls

Rotating Q&A, topic deep dives and Zoom calls. Recordings and notes uploaded.

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40+ lessons, 3 phases

Everything from this page and far beyond, in a pre-selected order.

Risk removed

The famous "Bare Hands" Guarantee 🧤

Start with a 7 day free trial. Then, after a defined period on the platform, if you would not pick up poo with your bare hands to stay a member, you do not pay a penny. Money back. Plus you can cancel anytime and even pause your membership if life gets busy.

Best case

You finally understand your dog, the relationship changes, and everything built on top of it changes too.

Worst case

You tell me this sucks within your guarantee period, get your money back, and keep everything you learned. At no cost.

Or simply wait for next week's free lesson. It is on recall, and it is a good one. Either way, you are learning. But your dog's relationship style is being built every single day, whether you are working on it or not.

Start Fixing It Today, Free →

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Stop being the barrier.
Become the opportunity.

The relationship is being built every day either way. Join MK9Plus and build it on purpose, with lessons, 1-to-1 email support with me, weekly lives, Zoom calls and a community. All free for 7 days.

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